well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
