I wannas sexs uuuuu
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
