Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
