I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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