yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
