omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
