when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
