Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
