Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
