he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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