You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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