So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
he fucked my hip out of place.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
