There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
