My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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