This is not my ceiling
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
