i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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