woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
