Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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