My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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