WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
