they need to just BURY HIM!
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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