nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
