READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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