bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
