Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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