i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
