tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
