God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
