I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You made out with two different species that night
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
