go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
