how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
