so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just found puke in my bra..
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
