And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
