I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
how does that bad decision feel?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
