my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
