If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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