they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
