Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
