it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
