just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
