pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
