The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
