drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
