I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
