So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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