Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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