OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
