So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
