My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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