For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
