please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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