oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
