Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Non-Jews are for practice
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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