My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
my poor anus
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
