yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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