I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
we made out on top of his cat.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize