I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
