Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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