awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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